Let's get talking about mental health this Time To Talk Day | Blog posts

Counsellor and Psychological Practitioner at Mid Yorkshire, Ashley, discusses the importance of talking about our mental health this Time To Talk Day.

Opening up about your mental health can be scary, you may feel you will be judged, or people won’t understand what you’re going through. But 1 in 4 of us will experience a mental health problem within any given year, so you are more likely to find someone going through similar things than you think.

Time To Talk

Launched in 2014, Time To Talk Day is an annual campaign which aims to create supportive communities by having conversations with family, friends, or colleagues about mental health. We all have mental health, and by having honest and open conversations about it, we can support ourselves and others. Not being able to talk about your mental health can lead to further feelings of isolation and loneliness, which in turn can perpetuate any mental health issues you may be experiencing.

Why is talking important?

Research shows how important open conversations in communities are to support everyone’s mental wellbeing. Talking about mental health is important because it helps to reduce stigma and create supportive environments where we can talk openly and feel empowered to seek help when we need it. There is no shame in struggling with your mental health or accessing support.

Every time we take the opportunity to talk about our mental health, this helps to normalise the conversation and show that we can integrate it into our daily interactions.

Unfortunately, people with mental health issues still describe facing stigma and discrimination as a result of their mental health, which in turn prevents from them feeling comfortable to talk about it, to friends, family and especially to managers. Time to Talk day provides an opportunity to change that, to show that we care about other people’s mental wellbeing and are willing to support each other to feel empowered to seek help.

Benefits of talking

Talking openly can help to reduce mental health stigma, but it also has other benefits.

It can show you’re not alone: when we keep our problems to ourselves, this can create feelings of loneliness as other people may seem to be coping with life issues more easily than you. This is not the case, everyone has their own mental wellbeing that fluctuates day to day, and everyone can experience mental health issues. When we don’t talk to other people about how we’re feeling, this keeps our problems feeling as though nobody else is going through them, and that the issue must be within ourselves. When in fact, there will be friends, family and colleagues experiencing similar things. Talking about these things shows that you are not alone in your feelings.

It helps maintain good mental health: we won’t always have pressing negative mental health issues that are weighing us down. Humans are naturally social beings and so having conversations with others about how we are doing is imperative to our wellbeing. Being able to tell a friend or colleague that we are feeling stressed or have been feeling anxious about something will ultimately help our mental wellbeing. It helps to create connections with others and allows others to share tips or information on how they look after themselves when feeling the same way. This helps us to look after our own wellbeing and feel supported.

It improves education about mental health: when we don’t talk to others about mental health, it keeps the knowledge about signs and symptoms of mental health issues hidden. By openly and honestly talking about what we are going through, it spreads knowledge about recognising the symptoms of mental health issues, helping to acknowledge when we may need some support. By being aware of the symptoms earlier, this can stop our issues escalating to a point where we can’t cope as we can seek social or professional support.

How do I start a conversation about mental health?

It can feel awkward and forced to ask someone about their mental health, but it doesn’t have to be. Here are some tips for starting a conversation about mental health.

1. Bring it up over normal conversation whilst you are having lunch with a friend or colleague; a simple ‘how are you feeling at the moment?’ could suffice, or if you’re aware they may be struggling you could say ‘I’ve noticed you don’t seem yourself lately, is everything okay?’
2. Talking face to face can sometimes feel uncomfortable; offer going for a walk together and talk side by side, this can make it easier to bring up things you are struggling with.
3. Writing what we want to say can also ease tension; text a friend or colleague to see how they are doing.
4. Talking about ourselves can feel uneasy; bring up a conversation with someone about a celebrity who has talked about mental health and personalise the conversation from there.

What do I say once we’ve started the conversation?

The hardest part is starting the conversation, but once we have, how do we show that we want to support the person who has opened up? Here are some ideas about how you can engage in the conversation.

1. Ask questions and listen; show them that you care by allowing them the time and focus to bring up what is worrying them.
2. Don’t try and fix it; its difficult to see someone we care about struggling, but offering ways they can fix how they’re feeling won’t always be helpful. Talking can be powerful in itself, so unless they ask for advice it might be better to show your support by listening.
3. Ask twice; sometimes we feel that people ask how we are without really caring for a real answer. By asking twice you show that person that you want to know how they are feeling and it helps them feel more comfortable to open up.
4. Talk about yourself; if you feel that someone may want to talk but is struggling to know how to start the conversation, then start it yourself by sharing your own feelings. This can be something as simple as saying you have been worrying about work, but will alert the person that you are comfortable talking about feelings and won’t judge them for bringing up their own feelings.

Talking about mental health can seem scary, but it doesn’t have to be. Make space in your day for a conversation about mental health.